When Grief Has No Answers: How LOSS Helps Survivors Find Hope

LOSS: Local Outreach to Suicide Survivors

When someone dies by suicide, the questions can feel endless. Through LOSS, Jim Kazmierczak and wife, Kris, walk alongside survivors, reminding them they are not alone—and that even in profound grief, healing is possible.

We know death is inevitable.

As Catholics, we believe in the four last things: death, judgment, heaven, and hell. We prepare ourselves as best we can, knowing that ultimately, we must entrust ourselves and those we love to the mercy of God. Yet nothing can truly prepare a family for the death of a loved one by suicide.

The grief is different. The questions can be relentless. What if I had noticed? Why didn't I see the signs? Could I have done something differently? Alongside the heartbreak may come guilt, anger, confusion, and the painful stigma that too often surrounds suicide.

This is where Jim Kazmierczak and his wife, Kris, come in.

As facilitators of the Northwest Indiana LOSS (Local Outreach to Suicide Survivors) program, they offer something deeply needed: a place where survivors can speak honestly, be understood, and begin to heal among people who know this particular pain firsthand.

“LOSS is not a bereavement group per se,” Jim explained. “It's strictly for the family, friends, and loved ones of people who have died by suicide.”

The distinction matters. Although grief after any death is painful, suicide often leaves survivors wrestling with questions and feelings they struggle to share with others. At LOSS, they don't have to explain why the questions keep coming. Others in the room have asked them, too.

"You realize the person just wanted to get through the pain they were going through,” Jim said. That pain can take many forms, including financial hardship, relationship difficulties, job loss, and even bullying. People of all ages can experience it, and the consequences can devastate families and communities.

Jim knows how deeply suicide can touch a family. His own mother-in-law died by suicide in 2017, in her 90s. A Holocaust survivor, she was a strong woman, who at one point suffered a broken femur and struggled with the possibility of losing her independence. Her death brought home the complexity of suffering that others may never fully see.

Jim also shared the heartbreaking story of a father who lost his 14-year-old daughter to bullying. That father is a retired Chicago police captain whose story Jim believes can help raise awareness about the devastating effects of bullying and the importance of protecting young people. Jim continues to seek opportunities to bring this conversation into the community because, as he sees it, the subject is simply too important to ignore.

For Jim, the mission is about more than helping people grieve. It is about breaking the silence.

LOSS—an initiative that grew out of Catholic Charities in the Archdiocese of Chicago—began in 1979, after three couples who had lost children to suicide recognized their need for a community that understood their unique pain. Today, the program serves survivors through support groups and other resources, with the mission of reducing stigma, increasing understanding of suicide and mental illness, and helping families find a path toward healing.

At St. John the Evangelist, LOSS provides that lifeline for Northwest Indiana and the Chicago South Suburbs. The local group began meeting in 2022, initially gathering for months without a single attendee. Jim and Kris kept going, reaching out through media interviews, church bulletins, public events, and personal invitations. Slowly, people began coming. Today, approximately 12 people gather regularly.

And sometimes, the transformation is remarkable.

“Sometimes a person will come to a meeting so distraught that they can't put a sentence together without crying, and later they are jumping in and helping others,” Jim shared. “It is an awesome feeling.”

That is the quiet power of walking with someone through suffering. The grief may not disappear and the questions may not all find answers. But isolation can give way to understanding, and those who once needed someone to hold them up may eventually find themselves holding someone else up.

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And what about God's mercy?

For survivors who fear that their loved one is condemned because they died by suicide, the Church offers an essential message of hope. Suicide is a profound tragedy, but we cannot presume to know the eternal destiny of another soul. The Catechism of the Catholic Church teaches that grave psychological disturbances, anguish, or fear of suffering can diminish a person's responsibility. It also reminds us that we should not despair of the eternal salvation of those who have taken their own lives, because God can provide opportunities for repentance in ways known to Him alone (CCC 2282–2283).

Our God is not indifferent to human suffering. He knows the depths of every heart, including the pain others could not see. We entrust our loved ones to His perfect justice and unfathomable mercy.

LOSS helps survivors begin to do the same—not by minimizing their loss or offering easy answers, but by surrounding them with people who understand and reminding them they do not have to carry their grief alone.

Jim and Kris continue this ministry because every survivor deserves compassion, every life matters, and no family should have to navigate the aftermath of suicide in isolation.

At SJE, that invitation remains open.

If you or someone you know has lost a loved one to suicide, please know there is a place for you.

The Northwest Indiana LOSS group meets on the first Thursday of each month from 7–9 p.m. in the Narthex of St. John the Evangelist, 10701 Olcott Ave., St. John, Indiana.

For more information, contact Jim and Kris Kazmierczak at 219-690-1268, call LOSS at 312-655-7283, or email LOSS@CatholicCharities.net.

Sometimes the first step toward healing is simply finding someone who understands. And sometimes, that first step begins with knowing you are not alone.